Classificaiton of Patron Encounters

I've decided during slow times I'm going to put my LIS 6210 Organization of Knowledge skills to use. I'm going to create a Classification of Patron Encounters. Or some such thing.

Why?

Because this past Monday, within a single hour, not one but two patrons approached the InfoDesk laughing -- not as they might when they have just heard a rollicking good joke, but laughing for some other reason somehow related to their impending questions. Were they laughing because they thought their question was funny? Stupid? Hopeless? Did they laugh because they weren't really sure what they wanted? Because I had a coffee stain on my shirt (always a possibility, but not so in this particular case)? Were they intimidated? Of me?

My theory is that the Laughers hadn't thoroughly thought out their questions and suffered an attack of library anxiety. Suddenly facing me at the InfoDesk, with their minds racing to put together a question, their vocal chords fill in the silence by laughing. At least, that sounds like something I would do.

The Laughers made me think of some of the other patrons who approach the desk. Many reference interactions recently seem to begin with "This is probably a stupid question, but ...". These Meta-Questioners, who question validity of their own questions, invariably end their sentence with a non-stupid question, apparently thinking that the services of the InfoDesk are typically reserved only for those studying quantum physics.

Other amusing favorites include:

• Sliders (the smooth-talkers who slide on up to the InfoDesk, flaunting their smoothness in my general direction)
• Huffers (who would like to begin the reference interview by expressing their malcontent)
• Tappers (who mistakenly think that by tapping I will register their impatience and thus ignore the two people in line in front of them)
• Hoverers (who hover around the reference desk but won't ask a question until I offer my help)
• Movers 'n' Shakers (who shout out a question without ever actually approaching the InfoDesk or waiting for the answer)
• Executives (who believe that through blunt orders and demands, I will perform more efficiently and to their liking, mere underling and peasant that I am)
• Self-Helpers (who answer their own questions)
• Ponderers (who, rather than asking a question, choose to stare at the desk until divine inspiration descends on them)

To make this a true classification, at a later date I will place these groups into a hierarchy. Care to add anything?