Today I handled a telephone reference call that went from odd to bizarre - so much so that I was convinced that it had to be a joke and someone was getting a great laugh at my expense on the other end of the line.
The female caller first explained to me that she was writing a three page paper on the topic "blondes have more fun." OK, let's see where she goes with this one. For the next several minutes, she proceeded to tell me that from her research she has determined that men marry brunettes and that blondes are promiscuous, blah blah blah, but what she urgently needed was a really good definition of the word "floozy" complete with origin.
Sure, I can do that. "Floozy" per the OED is a girl or a woman especially one of disreputable character. Origin unknown. That's too bad. She must not have liked that definition because she asked for two more, which I was happy to provide. I was starting to wonder what passing patrons must be imagining as the words "tawdry" and "promiscuous" came out of my mouth as they walked by the desk. But I'm a professional, I can handle it.
My phone friend, satisfied with her definitions, then began a lengthy discourse on the eroding sexual morals of our society and began wondering out loud if there shouldn't be some kind of law requiring prospective partners to disclose their medical history to each other because, according to the caller, infection with tuberculosis at one point was a matter of public knowledge that had to be clearly posted for all to see. (Where is this going???) Furthermore, she asked if I was aware that the responsibility for the widespread outbreaks of sexually transmitted diseases lies in the hands of campus co-eds, not with people out in the streets?
This woman transitioned from one topic to the next with the speed of a seasoned auctioneer, leaving me no space to extricate myself from this increasingly stranger one-sided conversation. When at last she paused to take a breath, I said "Well, sounds like you've got some really interesting information for a three page paper. Good luck and let us know if there's anything else we can help you with."
Phew.
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I wonder if this is the same patron that routinely phones up to discuss papers she's writing that involve "metaphorical" subjects. I've had at least 3 weird phone conversations with her in the last few weeks. Things like, "I'm writing a metaphorical paper on the differences between the peacock and the ostrich..." The conversations are almost entirely one-sided and it takes forever to get her off the phone. She's a regular, btw.
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